and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Finals really, really stunk…slept little, crammed a lot…did really bad. But this week, the joy of the Lord really was my strength. Why was I so joyful, you ask? Well, last Sunday was a glorious day. After I had given up all hope of being able to go to Chapter Focus Week, that morning out of the blue my mother told me I should go. So I headed to campus to study with a song of rejoicing in my heart.
That night I went to Illuminate at the Chapel. It was the first time I had gone to church since I moved back in with my parents. So the service started, and then they announced that it was a communion service. I almost broke down in tears. How marvelous, that my first time at church in almost a year was a communion service. As I meditated upon the great and glorious Cross, upon which the Father turned His face away from the Son so that I could be His…I realized the unfortunate propensity of the heart to forget…to get swept up in the things of the world, of course. But even other spiritual things so often overshadow the Gospel in my thoughts and in my heart. I do not want the Gospel to ever become trite to me…I want to be 80 years old and still have tears well up in my eyes when I think upon His great sacrifice.
The preaching was out of Romans 7. The pastor said something about how the same mouth that loves to praise God is quick to criticize, slander, etc…the same ears that love hearing the Scriptures loves gossip… same idea with the eyes.
This is something I have contemplated a lot, especially this year. I have regressed so much this past school year that I sometimes don’t even recognize myself anymore. I cannot believe how fast two years of renewing my mind completely went down the drain. Sometimes I hear the words that come out of my mouth and I cannot believe I actually uttered them. When I think about where I was spiritually before I came back to Akron, and where I am now I am so frustrated.
I am so thankful that I get to go to CFW. I really really hope that as I seek His face I will find myself again, and pick up the scattered pieces of who I am.
Posted in Spiritual Growth, The Cross | Tags: Chapter Focus Week, Holiness, pursuit of God, The Chapel, The Cross, the Gospel
